I get a fair number of angry emails about my ideal anorexia weight calculator, but the most amusing thing happened yesterday… my entire site was taken down for about an hour by a huge influx of angry people following links from twitter and tumblr. It looks like it all started on July 18th due to an email I hadn’t yet gotten to.
Since then my dinky little site, with its whopping 50 unique visits a month, has become the bane of many anorexic sufferer’s existence. I have now got multiple angry emails to read over and, quite honestly, mock. Which I fully intend to do (when I have some time). But I also want to spend some time explaining things and maybe giving you folks a perspective you might not have considered.
Look, children, here’s the deal: my website is my own stupid little creation. It’s small, and it doesn’t really interest much of anybody for the most part. My games were a hobby I wasn’t able to keep up. My articles are absurd and sometimes offensive and very rarely meaningful. I am basically your average geek with a family. I am about as fun at parties as a stalk of celery. I make a meager living working at a university. I am exceptionally unimportant outside of maybe ten people in the world. I am nobody to you. For my site to get under your skin means that through some really fucked up twist in the fabric of the universe, I’ve gained power I was never meant to have, and never tried to obtain.
More importantly, I have no love for anorexia, nor do I find anorexic women attractive (sorry to disappoint, ladies). That page is a joke and 100% fictional! Well, other than the bit about the U.S. having too many obese people – this is a fact I used to start the joke. You’ll find that lies work best when there are little truths thrown in. It gives the lie that delicious, authentic flavor the kids these days crave so much.
If you found my page and decided to take offense, that’s your hangup, not mine.
I have a son who could be classified as mentally retarded, and beats himself severely quite often. When I heard the song “Special Fred” by Stephen Lynch, I was deeply offended. How can anybody possibly derive humor from innocent children who have such turmoil they smash their heads into walls? But I didn’t go out and start some campaign to stop comedians from mocking things that are offensive to me – I instead turned off the TV and decided that I should avoid Lynch in the future. The fact is, if Stephen Lynch saw my boy beating himself bloody, he would be horrified, not amused… but it’s probably a fine joke when you’re removed from such a situation.
Offensive humor is very rarely based on reality, otherwise movies that make death into a joke, such as Pulp Fiction, would never exist.
Here’s the problem, though. When I get an email telling me, “I’m having this site taken down.”, and then a DOS attack is pulled off, you have accomplished nothing more than to encourage me. I got more traffic this past week than I usually see in a year, and I got to know that I pissed off some number of sheltered, whiny people. And worse still: you didn’t shut down a major website. Nobody cares if my site goes down. Hell, I didn’t even realize it was down until it had come back and I noticed my IRC bots had died.
Can’t wait to post some responses to these over-sensitive emails I got….
Quick note to those actually suffering from anorexia and currently in need of help: stay off the Internet. Most people are as bad as me or worse. They’ll mock you, they’ll insult you, they’ll say your affliction isn’t real, and so forth. If a site as insignificant as mine can cause you grief, you need to just get the hell outta dodge. There are far more important things in your life than what some dork on the web thinks is funny.