Two more reasons Ruby beats Perl: Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris

I was thinking of all the various Norrisisms on the web (“Chuck Noriss’s tears cure cancer. If only he would ever cry…” and such), and realized that Chuck Norris would prefer ruby to perl. Two of my own very clever*** quotes are below, and after reading them I think even the most die-hard perl programmer will have no choice but to convert.

* “Clever” by the Webster 1913 definition of “well-shaped; handsome”. They are sexy, even if not funny.

The ruby versions:

Chuck Norris doesn’t strip strings – when they see him, they get so excited they just strip themselves.
If Chuck Norris raises an exception, it takes two programmers, four paramedics, and at least one Chinese Healer to rescue it.

The perl versions:

Chuck Norris doesn’t trim strings – when they see him, they trim themselves out of fear.
When Chuck Norris found out perl couldn’t deal with exceptions nicely, he roundhouse kicked it. Twice. That’s why perl is so ugly.

Note how much less scared and ugly I made ruby sound.

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